A good geriatrician, one hopes, will school you in stability to lessen the chance of taking a spill. But good luck finding one, since their numbers have declined even as studies show that people do better over all under their care. Think your family will be there to steady you or at least check in? According to Dr. Gawande, half of the very old among us live without a spouse, and we’re having fewer children than ever before.He writes movingly of his own father’s death, and I felt the lump rising in my throat five times over 263 pages. But it is the chapter titled “Letting Go” that I found most useful. There, he discusses the powerful effect of frequent, concerted conversations about goals and wishes at the end of life — not just bland, advanced medical directives in writing but continuing talks out loud.
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